Let’s get one thing clear. No one is perfect. Absolutely no one. Even if you take the richest person on the planet with a tremendous amount of influence and power, this person might suck at basketball. This person might not be able to swim himself out of a wet paper bag.
Similarly, if you take the very best athlete in the world, this person might not be that good of an artist. You wouldn’t be able to recite a poem even if his life depended on it. The truth is, all of us are a mix of strong spots and very weak spots. That is to be expected. That is part of the human condition.
By the same token, nobody’s an angel. Even people you know who are really kind, compassionate, loving, giving, and good can wake up on the wrong side of the bed from time to time. Usually, it takes just one bad day for the demonic side of a person who’s otherwise a full time angel to show up. What do you do when those days come? How do you deal with that?
My point is that your flaws are what give you character. They are actually what make you special and unique. If people wanted to date you because of how beautiful you are based on beauty that other possess or some sort of beauty standard, you’re going to be in trouble.
Why? Beauty fades. What happens when the wrinkles appear? What happens when certain parts of your face and your body begin to sag or get discolored or get fat? No. What gives you character is your weird laugh, your quirky sense of humor, your off-beat way of looking at situations. These are the things that people hang on to. These are what define you.
Unfortunately, if you keep on focusing on how you meet some sort of impossible standard, you become blind to the flaws that give you character. Now, a lot of people can accept this, but they would try to rework their flaws. They would try to reshape their flaws or beat it into submission. You could try. Flaws can be reshaped, but please understand that they never go away. This is all part of the territory because we live in a flawed world.
Learning to accept yourself is really the first step in learning to live in a flawed world. Welcome to the club. That’s how things work. That’s how things are. You are actually tapping into a deep reservoir of personal power if you accept your flaws. This means you choose to stop running away from them, apologizing for them, justifying them, pointing the finger to others, or otherwise avoiding them. Instead, you acknowledge them.
Acknowledgment is the first step. Next, you learn to live with them. Then you embrace them. Eventually, you will get to the point you need to reach: making your flaws work for you instead of against you. Sadly, none of this will happen if you continue to cringe, feel guilty, or otherwise respond negatively to your flaws.