You are frustrated with many things in your life. That’s the reason you’re reading this article in the first place. You’re looking for answers. You’re looking for comfort. You’re looking for advice.
The problem is, in most cases, these frustrations happen because you hang on to things you cannot control. I know that this is probably not the kind of ‘answer’ you were looking for. Believe me, it stung when I was told this truth before. Still, you need to accept this reality: you have to take control of your life. This means letting go of others’ hold on you. Why? Well, first things first, trying to change others so they can ‘improve’ your life is a non-starter. You can’t change them.
Let’s get one thing clear. It’s hard enough changing yourself. Can you imagine trying to change other people?
They have their own lives to live. They have their own agendas. They have their own paths through life. You cannot control them. Nobody has that kind of power.
Similarly, you may be tortured by memories of the past, and you can’t let go of the past hurts, embarrassment, humiliation, degradation, and physical or sexual abuse. Please understand that you can’t change the past.
It happened already. It’s not about to happen. It’s not happening now, so it’s not like you can sit up and do something about it. It’s already happened. Past tense. Unless you have access to some sort of time machine, there’s really nothing you can do about the past.
People understand this. People understand they cannot control other people nor can they change the past. This is why they choose to be frustrated. They let the fact that they cannot control these warp their self-image. They wear themselves down. They chase after imaginary ghosts. They wage battles that have already been lost.
The worst part to all of these, is the misconception or the toxic idea that since you can’t control all of these things, you can set up some sort of impossible standard for yourself. This leads to the idea of perfectionism. You’re thinking to yourself, “Well, I know that negative things happened in the past, but I have a destination that I should work towards. The more that I get closer to this, the happier I will be.”
Well, that’s an illusion. Perfectionism leads to nowhere except loss of control. Use the idea of perfection properly. It’s supposed to inspire you. It’s supposed to push you forward. It’s supposed to give you a standard, but it’s not supposed to be treated like some sort of destination. If you do that, it will lead to loss of control.
Focus on what you can control-your thought patterns and the way you habitually choose to interpret your circumstances. You have full control over these. Take control. Take ownership. Change your thoughts and you change your life. How come? Your thoughts change you emotional response to things that happen to you. Pick thoughts that lead to you becoming more proactive. This leads to better decisions and better results.