Posted On 15 Feb 2018
If you want to be more confident, then you also need to be more independent. After all, self-confidence is all about having faith in your own ability and your own decisions. If you don’t know how to be alone, or don’t feel you can do things without the help of others, then you won’t have true confidence!
The problem is that many of us struggle to be alone, or to do things for ourselves. Part of this comes down to a sheer lack of practice. If you went straight from living with your parents, to living with a partner, then you may never have truly experienced fending for yourself. And living with friends isn’t necessarily much different.
Likewise, some of us will spend all of our spare time with others, to the point that we don’t have much identity or much purpose when left to our own devices. If you can’t stand the thought of spending an evening alone, then you need a quick boost in independence. So how do you get it?
The first way to be more independent is… to practice! One of the best ways to do this is to drop yourself in at the deep end as it were. That means packing a bag and heading off on a trip alone for a couple of weeks. The more of an adventure this is, the better. So that might mean backpacking and talking to strangers, or it might meaning travelling somewhere where no-one speaks the language.
It might just surprise you what you’re capable of when left to your own devices!
Another way to practice is just to avoid the temptation to call for help the next time something goes wrong. DIY is a great place to experiment with this. Has the toilet stopped flushing? Do you have a hole in the wall that looks unsightly? Instead of calling for help, bring up YouTube and try to sort it yourself. This is hugely empowering and can do wonders for your esteem, as well as making you far less dependent on others.
Find Your Identity
Simply spending a little time alone is also a good idea. Even if you live with a partner, try top spend time apart just to pursue your own interests. Finding a hobby is actually one of the most important things you can do to boost your independence, as this way you’ll always have something to entertain your thoughts.